Thursday, October 27, 2011

Not a Series of Unfortunate Events


Events during the night of 25/26 October 2011.

I entered bed at about 11:40 PM and after some time fell asleep. I awoke at about 1:10 AM needing to visit the bathroom. I felt it unnecessary since I had voided my bladder prior to turning out the lights. I nonetheless got up to do so. As is my habit, I noted the time on Leslee’s digital clock (1:11). While urinating, I felt a little faint and immediately bent my legs out of their locked position. A few moments later, feeling worse, I finished urinating and immediately bent over to lower my head. The last thing I remember is dropping to my right knee and putting my hands out to hold the toilet rim.

I woke up sweating with my arms and head laying over the edge of the toilet. As I attempted to get up, my chest and arms began to hurt as though they had fallen “asleep” as happens when they are in an awkward position too long. I tried to get my bearings while waiting for the pain to pass. Within 30 to 45 seconds, I felt good enough to sit up and try to evaluate what was happening. I felt the need to defecate, which prompting I followed, after repositioning myself appropriately. I initially evacuated what seemed to be normally solid material; but, second effort brought much looser results. I waited a few minutes, processed the necessary paperwork, and got up to wash.

Feeling stable, I returned to bed, noting the time as 2:20 AM. I offered a prayer of thanks and hope. I awoke about 7:45 AM feeling the need to document (which I never do).

My only change in diet on the 25th was eating a can of Campbell’s Chunky “OLD FASHIONED POTATO HAM CHOWDER” which is coded May 18 2013, 05191, EST 4 C . 4D . YB 0843. I ate this about 2:00 PM, and had some strawberries (which I had personally washed and cut last week, and had been constantly refrigerated since) with some Ice cream about 5:00 PM. Leslee and I have both eaten from this closed container of strawberries without negative results.

I do not know exactly why I have written this; but, I am trying to get better at following promptings. I also note that my usual five minutes or less visit to the throne room lasted about sixty-nine minutes. I wonder if that is the normal time span for an alien abduction.